'Homesick' is a BBC Radio 4 commission for the Afternoon Play slot, produced by Karen Rose of Sweet Talk productions. To be broadcast March 11th 2009 as part of a Science Fiction series. Directed by Anita Sullivan, recorded and edited by David Thomas.
Jeff is a satellite dish installer from Worcester. He works with his schoolfriend Hopper and lives with his agoraphobic mother. One day an actual bolt from the blue changes his quiet life forever. Now there is a voice in his head, speaking a language he doesn't understand and home is a very alien place.
Duration: 43 minutes.
CHARACTERS/ CAST
Click Play to hear an excerpt from Homesick. Nicole, a vet, is exploring Jeff's ear in the ladies' toilet of The Lamb and Flag.
[Nicole enters the ladies' toilet of The Lamb and Flag with Jeff in tow.]
NICOLE -Sit on the sink.
JEFF -What’s that?
ALIEN -A probe.
NICOLE -An octoscope.
ALIEN -Inner space probe.
NICOLE -At your own risk. I last used it on a cat and it hasn’t been sterilised. Want a choc-drop?
JEFF -No, ta.
NICOLE -Right then. Which ear?
JEFF -This one.
[She inserts the octoscope in Jeff’s ear.]
JEFF -Ah!
ALIEN -Penetration.
JEFF -It’s cold!
NICOLE -Stop whining. Bad boy!
JEFF -Well?
NICOLE -I can see something.
JEFF -Can yer?
NICOLE -It’s a tick.
ALIEN -Going deeper.
JEFF -I en’t imagining it!
NICOLE -It’s right up against the ear-drum.
JEFF -Can yer get it out?
ALIEN -Kusut ur kwes. Pain and Fear!
NICOLE -Weird. Normally they bury their heads in the skin but this one is sort of… floating. Attached by a… umbilical cord. Oh my god.
JEFF -What! What?
NICOLE -It looked at me.
[Someone knocks on the toilet door.]
JEFF -Get it out, get it out!
NICOLE -OK. Forceps.
ALIEN -Graspin’ me.
& JEFF -Graspin’ me.
JEFF -Oh god! I can feel it!
NICOLE -What?
JEFF -When yer pull.
ALIEN -Right through me body.
& JEFF -Right through me body.
NICOLE -Keep still!
ALIEN -In me ‘ead, my guts!
& JEFF -In me ‘ead, me guts!
WOMAN -[Off] Oi? What yer dooin’ in there?
NICOLE -Just coming!
JEFF -Argghhh!
WOMAN -[Off.] So I ‘ear.
ALIEN -No. Don’t. Stop. Stop!
& JEFF -No. Don’t. Stop. Stop!
JEFF -Bloody hell.
NICOLE -You OK?
JEFF -It’s gone quiet.
NICOLE -It wouldn’t budge. I might have squashed it.
ALIEN -Still here.
JEFF -[Relieved.] No. ‘e’s fine. ‘e’s all right.
WOMAN -[Off.] ‘urry up yer dirty buggers! I’s bustin’!
NICOLE -All right, all right!
JEFF -I’m Jeff, by the way.
NICOLE -Hi. I’m Nicole.
(Recording the play: Paul Ritter, Maxine Peake and Mark Heap)
Preview in The Radio Times 21-27 th Feb. 'Out of This World' science fiction season highlights. Jane Anderson
"Jeff's mundane life changes when he is struck by an actual bolt from the blue. He starts hearing a voice in another language. His perspective changes. He meets a girl and falls in love. But does Nicole love him or the voice in his ear. A gentle comedy about the proximity of stars and the distance of people."